ISSHIN BLOG DAY SIX Chestnuts rooooaaassstiiing on an oooppppeeeeen hot comb. Daddy is buuuuuuuzzzeeed. BUZZEDBUZEDVUSEDAE$$%^ Daddy drooled on the keyboard a little bit. Karin will be displeased. Or pleased. He forgets which. She has scary eyebrows. They speak to Daddy. And tell him to do bad things. With glue guns. Daddy is pumped full of the eggnog. Whish is pretty good. Reeeaaallly good after you add some peach flavored vodka. Lots of it. Daddy is happy. And smashed. Happysmashdaddynakedfuntime. Daddy made Karin and Yuzu cry during happynakedfuntime. Ichigo teared up a little too. Daddy believes his chest hair has magical properties so it was only right that they tremble before the magnificence. Though Karin didn't have to pull on them quite so hard. Daddy is tender. Like the baby Jesus. Daddy got lots of goodies for his Christmas. Ichigo and Karin gave him some lovely lawn gnomes. They are so cute. Daddy keeps one with him at all times. For huggin'. Yuzu got Daddy a very nice and bright shirt. Daddy likes it because it is too small and defines his pecs. Daddy has great pecs. Got some bunny earmuffs for Yuzu to keep her cute little ears warm. A book for Karin on how to get a man (Karin hit Daddy on the head with that. Hard). And some girly magazines for Ichigo. Daddy is worried about that boy. Does he even like girls? Daddy is verrrrrry worried. He does not want Ichigo to become a cross dresser no matter how good he looks in that pink ruffly skirt. Daddy finds the computer chair sticky during happynakedfuntime. It keeps sucking his butt in. This makes daddy uncomfortable. Plus the sound is icky. Icky. So he greased it up. Mmmm... slidey. Daddy is greased! Daddy tried to go outside to show the people his greasy magnificence but Yuzu convinced him that it would be too much for the public. Daddy would not like to scar children for life. Not with his naked glistening flesh. He prefers power tools. They hurt better. It is such a depressing time. No wife. No boyfriend. And that Ryuuken won't answer his calls. Daddy is loooooonely. He just wants to talk shop. And maybe get nude in the hot tub. Is that too much to ask?! :sob: Daddy is signing off now. He keeps sliding off the computer chair. And the grease is starting to congeal. Nasty. Daddy will go take a bath with his lawn gnomes now. Daddy out. DAY FIVE Daddy is typing in the dark here. The only light on is the flickering computer monitor illuminating his masculine jaw. Daddy likes to watch his reflection. Daddy puts the hot in hotty. He has to be quiet because the children might hear him typing and under no circumstances can they be introduced to this very sensitive information. Plus, Karin always reads over his shoulder and tells him he can't spell worth a damn darn. Children sometimes spend too much time with their daddies. Daddy went to the library today and the very nice librarian showed Daddy . . fanfiction. Daddy was shocked. People like writing about Daddy. With other men. In places. o_0 Daddy had to vomit after reading the one with his precious boychild, Ichigo, himself, and a tub of butter. Please excuse Daddy as he has to go and vomit again. Just thinking about it makes him want to kill himself and his son to make sure nothing like that ever happens. Daddy has already thrown all the butter out. He has even taken the precaution of buying up all the butter within walking distance and destroying it. Yuzu complained that she could not cook withought it but Daddy screamed like a girl for three minutes and she left him alone. Daddy only uses his PATENTED GIRL SCREAM for emergency situations. Life or death and whatnot. Daddy has read things that he can never forget. So much . . filth. Though he quite liked the ones where he seduced numerous women. Ichigo hogs that bodacious Orihime girl anyways. Daddy is human. He likes the feminine er.. charms. FORGIVE ME MOTHER! DADDY IS WEAK! THE FLESH PILLOWS SEDUCED ME! DADDY WILL FLAY HIMSELF WITH A BAMBOO STICK FOR PENANCE! Have to go now. Daddy's sobs are attracting the children. And they must never know. Daddy thinks he will have to destroy all the butter. On the planet. Or all the cows. Daddy is sad about the cows. They are so cute. DAY FOUR Daddy has not blogged for a long time. Daddy is shamed. He will impale himself on a popsicle stick to show his regret. Yuzu says if I don't blog every day about every single thing that happens in my life my readers will lose interest and abandon me. Noooooooooo! DO NOT FORSAKE DADDY! Daddy will tell you everything! Even about that hangnail I had last week that would not come off! Daddy tried biting it. Then cutting it with the scissors. It mocked me. So Daddy eventually just used the garden shears. Which are very handy and now Daddy keeps a pair in his room for extra ORDINARY grooming and maintenance. Next to the blowtorch for Daddy's facial hair. Both are in a glass box marked: FOR USE IN EXTREME GROOMING EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS. Yuzu says she is scared to go near the box but Daddy told her it is harmless but that she must break it if Daddy is looking unmanly. Karin keeps trying to break it. Is that enough? Are you ready for... the rest of Daddy's day? Because it was awesome. And teh win! Phear ME! I am pwnage... Daddy found the slang. Internet slang is fun. Killing proper grammar makes people feel uncomfortable so Daddy intends to use it all the time. The clinic was fun today. Found an entire soy sauce jar in a patient's bum. It was very weird. For him and me. Because I think I know him from somewhere. He had this pointy hair... with little bells on it? But Daddy makes no judgments. What people do in the privacy of the domicile they reside in... is weird. But don't show Daddy. I have a weak stomach. Daddy left after that. That traumatized him. So he had Yuzu make a chocolate cake. Which was very good. Ichigo couldn't have any because he is punished. He broke the glass. Now I need to find new gardening shears. And a blowtorch. Daddy out! DAY THREE Karin says you all are very interested in my every day life. That you 'wait with bated breath'. That makes Daddy so happy! I love you internet people! Yuzu keeps catching Daddy hug his computer monitor because my love is so deep! Yuzu has forbidden me to use the interweb too much because of this. She says I'm getting weird...er. Daddy does not care! He will tell all you lovely people about his day. Woke up very happy because today I get to take Yuzu and Karin to the zoo and pet the cute little furry animals. Yuzu and Karin protested but I dragged them from the snugly girl beds that they sleep on. Daddy knows his babies love the fuzzy wuzzy animals. Tried to capture Ichigo but he ran very fast. That boy. I think he needs a girlfriend. Maybe that friendly big busted girl. She's nice. Never once hit Daddy when he innocently stared at them. I wore my favorite yellow rain slicker. It wasn't raining but Daddy looks so fetching in it. We walked to the zoo but Daddy forgot his wallet so Karin had to pay. She was not very nice about it either. She actually hit Daddy and now Daddy has to wear an ice pack on his noggin. We saw the monkeys. Daddy loves the monkeys! Tried to jump in the cage so that I might hug one of them to my manly breast but Karin and Yuzu held me back. Daddy never get's to hug the monkeys. :(:(:( Then we saw the panda bears. Daddy loves them so much. They are like huge racoons. That eat bamboo. Daddy wanted to hug them too but Yuzu said the big one would probably eat me. Daddy does not want to get eaten. He is sure he tastes not too good. Probably salty. Karin liked the panthers best I think. She said they were beautiful and mysterious. Daddy thinks they would definitely eat her. She probably tastes good. Like meat pies. Then they made me go home. Yuzu said I'd had too much excitement for the day and needed a nap. She gave me some apple juice that was very good. Daddy demanded saki but Yuzu said no. :sob: End. :DX DAY TWO Daddy thinks he has the angst that the interweb thirsts for as the hungry camel thirsts for the sweet water of the dessert desert. I think I finally have it. Today, I had to wear normal clothes. NORMAL! Oh the pain! All of daddy's cool clothes were torn and strewn about in my closet. :sob: The only clue left was that odd little stuffed animal Ichigo has. It was sitting on the floor near the SCENE OF THE CRIME. Daddy thinks Ichigo did it. I've told Ichigo that he is too old and MANLY to be carrying that stupid thing around. Maybe he went all crazy. My POOR son! :sob: Why didn't you tell DADDY?!!!!!! Daddy will fix it! I will buy you a whole room of GIRLY STUFFED ANIMALS! To sooth your savage BREAST! Daddy has also discovered the smilies. They are very fun. :DX <--- that's Daddy's. See the beard? Sexy! I must go buy a mountain of stuffed animals now to quench the violence in my CRAZY son! And shirts. Daddy needs more shirts. With many many ruffles. DAY ONE Hello. Is this the interweb? Yuzu told me that all the hip people are making things called 'blogs'. Daddy is hip. He knows the cool hep jive talk. Yuzu says that's stupid. AND DADDY MUST NEVER TYPE WITH THE CAPS LOCK ON. SHE SAYS IT'S RUDE AND IT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A DOOF.. ah. Better. And I must utilize the 'spell' feature because Daddy is a horrible speller. Hmm... and I must talk about myself and what happened in my day. Also I must expound on what I believe about things. Easy I think. Daddy does like to talk. Not so good with the actual typing though. Yuzu says I must also insert much angst into my post or no one will wish to read this and Daddy will be shunned by all of the fourteen year old blog people. This scares Daddy. I do not wish to have complete strangers stun shun me. Though I do not feel this angst Yuzu speaks of, I shall try to make something up. OH THE PAIN! My eggs are runny! RUNNY! Pretty good, but Yuzu says I need to work on it. I am also supposed to talk about my day. Yes well.. it was actually fairly boring. A patient came who ate a whole bag of dog food because his friends dared him to. Daddy told him that doing stupid things just to please his friends was stupid. Then I dared him to eat my stethoscope. Had to operate after that. He was very stupid. Daddy charges extra for stupid. Then I ate the lovely lunch Yuzu gave me. Before I left the clinic I thought I saw an odd shadow following Ichigo and he was all like; "Everything is fine old man! Go home!" So I gave him a good kick and went home. And now I am home. It was a nice day. A NICE DAY! <-- Angst? No? Daddy will try harder next time!